Lost
by beyond.the.barricade.91
Summary: Sometimes life crumbles all around you. And sometimes, it happens to the people who do the most good in the world. Sometimes, the strongest person has the loneliest soul. Stay tuned as we watch a girl make the biggest decision of her life; living it, or ending it.
1. Preface

Lost:

Preface:

Life isn't fair. Life sucks. Life isn't worth living. How many times have these words run through your head? If you haven't, you wouldn't expect it out of anyone. Especially the strongest girl you know. Get ready to follow a story of a girl who has the world handed to her, but wants to leave it so badly. It's a story of love. A story of pain. A story of winning. And a story of losing. Because the one person who seems to have it all is the one who is the most LOST.


	2. Chapter 1

Lost:

Chapter 1:

Present Day:

"Let's start from the beginning," Dr. Abney says, pulling out her clipboard. She's been a psychologist for over 20 years now. She is the most profound doctor there is. Everybody recommends her. She seems to connect with the people she sees in ways nobody can comprehend. She deals with kids who are bipolar, kids who have anxiety and kids with depression. But her patient today is far different from anyone she's ever dealt with. The girl sitting across from her is wearing a ratty old dress. It's green and looks like somebody came and ripped it apart. Her hair looks greasy and it falls straight down the sides of her face. She wears old combat boots that look too big for her. She never makes eye contact with Dr. Abney, but something about her makes even Dr. Abney feel sorry for her.

The girl stays silent. She doesn't make a move and this worries the doctor.  
"Eponine," Dr. Abney says lightly, "I'm only trying to help you. Your friends brought you here for a reason. They're very worried about you. I've handled these types of situations before. You can trust me." The girl snaps her head up and looks in Dr. Abney's eyes.

"I can't trust anyone," she answers. Her voice is raspy and low. Something Dr. Abney was not expecting.

"But you can. Look over at my desk," she points and Eponine's eyes follow her finger. "The sign there says 'Whatever is said in here stays in here.' I have a complete Doctor-Patient Confidentiality thing going on here. You can trust me," she says. Eponine looks back at her doctor and looks her up and down. Dr. Abney has short blonde hair. She wears a pink top and a short black pencil skirt. She's thin and obviously knows it. Eponine immediately envies her for that. Dr. Abney's glasses sit on her nose so she can read her clipboard. Eponine knows that whatever is written on that clipboard tells her everything that's wrong with her. Which is everything.

"I had it all," Eponine whispers.

"Excuse me?" Dr. Abney replies, swiping the glasses off her face.

"I had everything. My parents were rich, and I got everything I ever wanted. I had all the friends in the world and all the guys hung on my every word. I had absolutely everything."

"Well, what happened?" Dr. Abney says, quickly picking up the clipboard and her pen.

"I realized who I really am," she answers, sinking her head down.

"And who is that?" Dr. Abney asks, scribbling notes down onto the piece of paper that has Eponine's records on it.

"I'm a fraud. I'm nothing that everyone thought I was. Nobody really wants me around. They all just tolerate me because of my parents." She gets quiet again. Tears quickly fall from her face, but she doesn't bother to wipe them away. People have already seen her hit rock bottom. How much worse could anything get.

"You know, I used to be unstoppable. I used to be so confident in myself. I thought I was everything that was important to the world." She talks again. Dr. Abney looks up from her clipboard. Used to be? She thinks to herself.

"Can you tell me what happened to make you feel so…unconfident?" she asks, grabbing a box of tissues from her desk. She passes them to Eponine, who quickly takes them and sets them on the ground without taking one. Eponine picks her head up and chuckles a little. It's a sad, lonesome laugh.

"If you knew the half of it, you'd want to end it all, too."


	3. Chapter 2

Lost:

Chapter 2:

*2 YEARS EARLIER*

Eponine Thenardier was the talk of the town. She was only 16 and yet she was the most popular and the most beautiful girl around. Every guy wanted to be with her and every girl wanted to be her. She had it all. But, somehow, she still wasn't happy. She wasn't sure what she wanted out of life, but she tried to take every opportunity that she could.

Her parents were the Thenardiers, the rich couple who owned a hopping inn. She had a younger sister, Azelma, and a younger brother, Gavroche. They were a happy family. The Thenardiers loved their kids dearly, but never had the time to bond with them, so they bought them whatever they wanted. Toys, clothes, cars, etc. You name it, they had it. Azelma and Gavroche were clearly happy about it, but Eponine never seemed as ecstatic as the other two. Maybe because she was a few years older and more mature.  
Eponine had a group of friends. All guy friends. They all hung out at the ABC Café down the street from her parents' inn. She spent most of her days there. The guys all loved her. She was like a little sister to them. Her best friend since before she could remember was Marius Pontmercy. He was a very handsome boy who was just like Eponine. He was rich, good looking, and popular among his peers. Eponine knew that he was somebody that could be trusted. She spent every single day with him and the other boys.

One day, she walked into the ABC Café. She wasn't feeling right that day. Something was making her sick, and she knew exactly what it was. Her parents had been fighting nonstop. They would scream at each other at the top of their lungs in front of the younger kids. Eponine had to be strong and take care of her younger siblings. She always had to be the strong one. She was upset all night about it and she feared that her parents were going to split up. But, she figured seeing her boys would make everything better.

"Eponine!" They all yelled as soon as she walked in.  
"Yes, I am here," she said, trying to sidetrack herself from the pain in her stomach.

"You're just in time!" a boy with shaggy black hair said to her.

"For what, Grantaire?" she asked him, swiping the bottle of beer that he was holding out of his hands. She held it in hers and threw it over the counter. The ABC Café was an old, rundown café. It was abandoned, so the boys decided to make a hide-out there.

"Um…" Grantaire stumbled, too drunk to remember what they were talking about. A boy with long, curly hair walked over and put his arm around Grantaire. He was wearing a bright red jacket and big smile on his face.

"Don't listen to him, Ep. He doesn't know what he's talking about half the time." He winked at her. She rolled her eyes.

"Good to know, Enjorlas. Have you seen Marius?" she asked, looking around.

"He's not here, yet." Enjorlas answered her.

"Ah, darn. That means I have to hang out with all of you guys now," she said and walked over to the counter. Enjorlas followed her, looking at her funny.

"What?" she asked, feeling uncomfortable and looking away.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing?" She said, confused as to why he was asking.

"You just seem…different. The light that's usually in your eyes is gone," he said.

"Enjorlas, I'm fine. Please leave me alone." She said, trying to keep her cool. The last thing she wanted to do was snap at any of these kids. They were her family and the people she trusted and she couldn't lose them.

"Eponine, if there's anything we can help you with-," he said, still going on with it.

"I appreciate that and all, but there's nothing going on," she said, starting to raise her voice. She noticed some of the boys starting to stare at her. She hid her face and slumped under the counter. She stood back up holding a bottle in her hand. She grabbed a rag and started scrubbing the bottle. It was the only thing that was helping her at that point.

"Come on, just talk to us, it couldn't hurt," he said. That was the final straw for Eponine.

"I said nothing is wrong!" she yelled and smashed the bottle against her hand. The café went silent. All the boys turned to look at Eponine, who was trying to keep the tears in. She looked down and saw blood escaping her hands and wrists. Usually when you get cuts from glass, it hurts likes no other. But, Eponine felt no pain. If only for a second, it helped her forget about her parents.

Maybe this is it, she thought to herself. She looked up and saw the boys still staring at her. Marius had walked in at that time and overheard the whole conversation.

"Ep?" he asked. Without another word, Eponine ran out of the ABC Café, taking the shattered bottle with her.


	4. Chapter 3

Lost:  
Chapter 3:  
Present Day:

"So, your depression started at age 16," Dr. Abney says as she scribbles it onto her clipboard.

"I don't like using that word," Eponine answers her. Dr. Abney crosses her legs and puts the clipboard down on the side table next to her.

"What do you like to call it then?" she asks, narrowing her eyes at Eponine.

"I don't like to call it anything. It's not a disease, it's what I am. Hopeless, pathetic…do I need to go on?" she says. There's no sign of remorse in her. Nothing that Dr. Abney can see that might help her decode whatever is going on in Eponine's head.

"Eponine, you're not hopeless and you're not pathetic. And you're wrong, this is not what you are. Depression is a sickness-,"

"I said I don't like that word," Eponine says through her teeth. Dr. Abney takes a deep breath in and lets it out slowly.

"I'm sorry. What you're going through is a sickness. And it can be treated if you let me help you." She says. Eponine sits up straight in her chair. She doesn't see the hope in her. She sees herself as worthless and she knows she always has been. It just took her a while to realize it.

"Okay, let's get off this subject," Dr. Abney says, snapping Eponine out of her thoughts. She picks the clipboard back up and puts it on her lap. "Let's talk about this Marius." She says and Eponine's face immediately lights up.

"Marius. Okay, his name is Marius Pontmercy, and he's my best friend. He and I were inseparable," Eponine says, smiling to herself.

Dr. Abney braces herself before asking the question she knows she needs to. She clears her throat and says, "Were?"

Eponine's eyes lose their light, but she's still smiling. "Marius got a girlfriend 2 years ago. Her name's Cosette."

"Do you like this Cosette?" Dr. Abney asks as she writes Cosette's name on the clipboard.

"Yeah, she's nice. She's really good for Marius and he loves her. A lot. I wouldn't be surprised if they got married," she says. Her smile starts to fade.

"How do you feel about that?" Dr. Abney asks her.

"I mean, I want Marius to be happy, but I'm just afraid that I'll lose him for good." Eponine says. "Wait a second, how did you do that?" Dr. Abney's eyes widen.  
"Do what?" She asks, confused.

"You got me to open up to you. I wasn't planning on doing that," Eponine smiles to herself.

"I'm just trying to get you to know that you can trust me and that I'm not going to hurt you," she says. The doctor looks at the clock. Eponine's hour is over, but Dr. Abney is afraid to let her go.

"Okay, Eponine. Your hour is up. I'm very proud of you for opening up the way you did," Dr. Abney says, standing up. Eponine slowly stands from her seat. She pats down her dress. Dr. Abney notices the dirt on her dress and arms. She quickly snaps her eyes back up to Eponine's so Eponine doesn't feel that she was staring at anything.

"So, that was it?" Eponine asks, getting her bag together.  
"For today, that is. Your parents and friends want you to come back to me every day until you're better. So, I will see you same time tomorrow. Okay?" Dr. Abney smiles, holding out her hand. Eponine quickly grabs it and walks out the door. Once the door is shut, Dr. Abney runs to her computer to update Eponine's profile.

Her computer opens up to a picture of Eponine.

In a way, Dr. Abney feels like a detective. She feels that it's her duty to crack the cases on her patients as to what is going on through their minds. For Eponine, it's going to take a lot of cracking. She starts with her lack of using the word depression. Something about that strikes Dr. Abney as being very wrong. It could mean that she's worse off than anyone else thinks. If Eponine isn't able to admit to being sick, she could be gone sooner than they want. But she isn't going to let that happen.

The next thing that comes to mind is her parents. She didn't want to ask Eponine about her parents yet, in case they are split up. That could cause something to erupt in the girl and she didn't want that. Not yet, anyway.

The last thing that comes to mind is Marius. Her friend Marius that she seems to just love. She's afraid that Marius isn't going to have time for her because of his girlfriend. That has just been adding to the stress Eponine has on her mind.

Then it hits her. The way she's going to crack down on this case is going to the source itself. She has to find Marius.


	5. Chapter 4

Lost:

Chapter 4:

*TWO YEARS EARLIER*

"Do you remember when we first met?" Marius had asked Eponine. They were in his backyard lying on a blanket and looking at the stars.

"Do you?" she asked.

"I do. You were in a little pink dress. Your hair was in pigtails…I think they were braided. Your mom and my grandfather were talking and you walked right over to me and said 'You're my new best friend.' And walked away. I feel that was our first real bonding moment," he laughed alone with Eponine. The laughter slowly died down and Marius knew he had to ask.

"Ep, what happened today?" he asked her, sitting up.

Eponine sighed and turned on her side so she was facing him.

"Enjorlas kept asking me if something wrong. It made me mad so I smashed the empty glass I took from Grantaire. Is it really that big of a deal?" she asked. She was trying to be strong, especially around Marius. The truth was, after the whole ordeal at the café, Eponine went home and locked herself in the bathroom. She cut herself high up on her arm with the broken glass to see how it felt. Again, she felt nothing but relief from the awful thoughts that were running through her mind. She only did it once that day, but she knew that whenever something went wrong, she could go to that. That way, people would still see her as a strong person.

"No, I just…if something was wrong, you would tell me, right?" he asked her, grabbing her arm. She winced and he let go. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she said sitting up and holding her arm. He narrowed his eyes at her, but decided to save that questioning for later. She sighed.

"I would. But nothing is wrong. You know how I am, I'm too strong to let anything get me down," she smiled and nudged him. He looked at her smile and saw that it wasn't an Eponine smile. It was the saddest smile he'd ever seen. He could feel his face falling as he wanted to help her with whatever was happening, but he tried to hide. He was afraid that she was going to go off on him and not want to talk to him anymore.

"So, how was your date?" she asked, changing the subject, obviously. But he went along with it.

"It was great, actually," he said, trying to sound excited. He was just too worried about Eponine.

Eponine looked at him and held her arms up. "Is that all I get? What's her name? What's she like? I need the details," she said and shoved him back. He laughed and started talking about his new girlfriend, Cosette. Eponine seemed like she was listening, but he knew her mind was somewhere else.

"Well, I would love to meet her," she said when he finished.

"I'm sure she would love to meet you, too. You guys would be great friends," he said. She smiled.

"Okay, I'm going into your house, it's freezing out here," she said, getting to her feet. Her eyes went wide and she grabbed her head. Marius got up as quickly as he could to catch her before she fell.

"Ep?" he asked, holding her in his arms. Her eyes popped open.

"Sorry!" she said, jumping out of his embrace. "I guess with the loss of blood today and then me not eating and all that, I just got a little dizzy. Plus, we've been lying down for a while. I'm okay, really," she said, but he wasn't buying it.

"You're not driving home," he said, grabbing her keys from her pocket.

"What? Marius, that's not funny," she tried to grab them out of his hand. Unfortunately for her, he was over 6 feet tall and she was just under 5'5", "Give me my keys!"

"You can just stay here tonight," he said and scooped her up into his arms. This is how they hung out. He treated her like a little sister. He was 2 years older than her. She loved the way he treated her. She loved the feeling of having somebody take care of her. But, the thought of this new girl coming in scared her. She was terrified that he was going to leave her, just like her parents were leaving her.

"Okay, go lay on the couch," he said, setting her down. "I'm going to go get some drinks from the kitchen." She yawned and nodded, plopping herself down on the couch.

Marius poured them both glasses of Root Beer, Eponine's favorite. He walked back in to the living room to see Eponine curled up on his couch, already fast asleep. He chuckled to himself and grabbed the blanket on the other chair. He slowly put it on her and kissed her forehead. He stroked her arm and felt a bump. He quickly lifted her shirt and found a scar. A long scar that went all the way across her arm. That's why she winced.

Marius then knew that he had a problem on his hands, and he had no idea what he was supposed to do.


	6. Chapter 5

Lost:

Chapter 5:

Present Day:

Eponine slowly makes her way out of the building her therapist is in.

How stupid is this? She thinks to herself. No one could ever be able to help you. You're worthless Eponine. Completely worthless.

She absent mindedly walks to the ABC Café. She doesn't know what she's going to find there, but it seems like the right place to be at this point in time.

She walks up the stairs to where the bar is. It's completely empty, which she's happy about. She walks over to a table and touches the chair. Marius' chair. When he and Enjorlas are planning their stupid schemes, they sit right here. This has been their spot for as long as she could remember.

She sits in the seat. Her head falls into her hands and she cries.

Why does everyone want to know so much about me? Why can't they just leave me alone? They're trying to give me hope, but I know that all hope is gone. I can't go on like this, she thinks to herself.

"I'm worthless," she says aloud.

"Says you," she jumps and turns around to find Grantaire standing at the door with his arms crossed. She feels her throat close up and can't answer him. She turns around and looks at the table. She hears footsteps coming behind him and she squeezes her eyes shut. She doesn't know what to say to anybody anymore. She doesn't even talk to her own family, how is she supposed to talk to Grantaire?

He plops himself down on the chair next to her; Enjorlas' chair. He props his elbow up on the table and rests his chin in his hand.

"You know, that's the first time I've heard your voice in over a year," he says, staring at her. Eponine starts to feel uncomfortable. She grabs her arms and hugs herself. She doesn't look at him. She's afraid to look at him. She's afraid of what he's going to say to her. She's afraid of what he's going to think about her.

"Eponine, you used to be the most confident girl I know. Why won't you at least talk to me?" Eponine snaps her eyes to him. There it is. Everybody talks about the past, why can't anyone talk about how she is now?  
I know why; it's because they hate me, she thinks. She puts her head down.

"Look, I miss you. We all miss you. It's not the same without you. Why won't you tell us what's going on? You can trust us," he says, touching her hand. She looks up, getting nervous. She looks down at her hands and tries to hold the tears in.

"I can't trust anybody," she says, her voice low and quiet. Grantaire picks his hand up and sits back, a little alarmed. He's taken aback by the way her voice sounds and by the look in her eyes. She looks more than sad. She looks empty.

"How can you say that? You have a whole set of friends here." He says, looking around, realizing nobody's actually there. He chuckles nervously to himself. He knows that this little pep talk he's trying to give isn't working.

"I don't have anybody. Don't you guys get that? I know what you all think of me," she says, staring forward. Grantaire can't read her. He's never been more worried for someone in his life.  
Eponine's heart is racing. She's afraid that he's going to tell her that she's worthless, too. Why shouldn't he? It's the truth.

"Eponine," he says, reaching to her again. She swats him away. She pushes her chair back and pops up.

"You guys don't get it. You can't fix me. Sending me to that therapist? What is that supposed to do? You really think that's going to help me? You guys are making me feel crazier than I am! I can't talk to anybody because I don't want to talk to anybody! Nobody can help me!" She yells. She realizes that the feeling of pain is starting to come back. Grantaire stands up next to her and tries to grab her arms. She pulls away before he can feel the scars. Nobody knows about her habit and she wants to keep it that way.

"I have to go," she says and makes her way through the door.

"Eponine!" Grantaire yells after her, but it's too late. He kicks the chair, angry that he couldn't help her anymore. It's not over for him. He and the guys know that they have to do something. They can't just leave her to be alone.

When Eponine gets outside, she starts running. She runs until she reaches her house. The tears are flowing uncontrollably and she knows she has to get into the house and get upstairs before somebody sees her. She opens the door and her dad is standing there.

"Ep?" he asks, and she closes the door. She stares at him and doesn't say anything. He reaches out to her and she flies up the stairs.

"Eponine!" he yells after her. She slams her door shut. She falls back on her door and slides to the ground. She's helpless. Nothing is going to make anything better. She looks at her desk and sees a pair of scissors. She gets up and holds the scissors to her upper arm.

"I just want this all to end," she says to herself.


	7. Chapter 6

Lost:

Chapter 6:

*2 Years Earlier*

It was almost Christmastime. All of the boys at the ABC Café were so excited. Christmas was the best time of the year. Since a lot of them lived on their own, it was nice for them to have some people to call family. They were all meeting up and Marius decided it was time for everyone to meet his new girlfriend of 3 months.

Marius and Cosette walked into the café hand in hand. Nobody could take their eyes off of them. Marius? In love at last? Nobody could believe it.

"So, Mar," Grantaire yelled from across the room. He seemed to already have downed a few drinks. Nothing new. "Are you going to introduce us to that gorgeous lady on your arm?"

Eponine turned around from her seat to see Marius with this girl. She looked oddly familiar to Eponine, but she didn't think anything of it. Cosette eyed Eponine. She knew from first glance that she had a lot compete with here. She looked around and saw that Eponine was the only other girl here. And she was beautiful; Cosette thought that there was no way that any of these guys were going to talk to her with that girl there.

Eponine felt her heart drop. She hated that Marius had this new girlfriend. Not because she liked him in anyway; she just liked having Marius all to herself.

"Everybody, this is Cosette. She and I have been dating for roughly 3 months now, so be nice, please." He said, holding Cosette close to him.

Enjorlas rolled his eyes and walked over to Eponine's table. She looked up and stared at him.

"Are you still mad?" he asked, sitting down next to her. She sighed.

"I guess I shouldn't be. It's been a long time since we've talked," she said, looking down at her hands. She was pulling at the sleeves to cover her hands completely.

"Are you cold?" he asked, taking off his jacket and putting it around her shoulders. She smiled warmly, but still looked empty.

"Thank you, Enjorlas," she said, lightly holding onto the jacket.  
"So, what are you doing for Christmas this year?" he asked, smiling. She sucked in breath. She knew that she didn't want to be around her house for Christmas this year. She didn't want to be around her screaming parents. It was hard for her to watch her parents yell and yell at each other, and then having to be strong for her younger siblings. She wished she could just find a place for them all to stay, but that would mean having to tell someone about her parents, and she knew that couldn't happen. Everyone saw them as the golden family and she wasn't going to let that change.

"Ep?" Enjorlas said, waving his hand in front of her face. She snapped back and looked at him.

"Um, I think I'm going to spend it here with you guys. I might bring Gav and Azelma if that's alright." She answered quietly. She tried to sound as happy as she could, but she knew it didn't come across like that.

"As much as we would love to have you here, don't you want to spend it at home?" he asked, leaning his elbows on the table.

"I would much rather spend it here," She said, the smile gone from her face. She looked down at the table, still pulling her sleeves up.

"Is everything okay?" he asked, narrowing his eyes at her. She still looked away.

"I'm fine," she said. She got up and walked over to the table with desserts on it. Enjorlas followed behind her.

"Eponine, have you been eating? You look extremely skinny," he said, pulling on her arm to get her closet to him.

"Yes, I'm eating," she said and grabbed a cookie. She shoved it in her mouth and made a face at him.

"Okay. Please just let me know if there's anything I can-" he was cut off by Marius' voice.

"Ep! Enj!" he walked over to them with his arm around Cosette, "Cosette, these are my two best friends, Enjorlas and Eponine," he held his hand out to show both of them. Cosette nodded, looking curiously at Eponine. She can't help but feel that she's seen her somewhere before. She snapped back to reality and her smile instantly spread across her face.

"Hi, it's really nice to meet you guys! Marius would not stop talking about you two!" she squeals.

"It's nice to meet you, too," Eponine said, shaking her hand. Enjorlas shook her hand and shot a look at Eponine. She looked away.

"I'm going to go see if Grantaire needs any help…you know…standing up," Enjorlas said and walked over to the bar, leaving Eponine with the lovebirds.

Eponine could barely look at how happy Marius was.

This is it, she thought. My friendship with Marius will be forever changed. It already has been. I guess he doesn't need me anymore.

"Ep, are you okay?" Marius asked her. She doesn't look up to acknowledge he said something. She looks down at the cookie she just bit into. She suddenly feels a gurgling in her stomach. She knows the part of the cookie she ate has already reached her stomach.

"Excuse me," she said, softly pushing Marius out of her way. She walked into the bathroom and locked the door behind her. She went into her pocket and pulled out her toothbrush. She knelt down to the toilet and held the toothbrush to her mouth. She had tears streaming down her face as she put the end of it down her throat.

She couldn't help to think that something was seriously wrong with her, and she had no idea how to fix it.


	8. Chapter 7

Lost:

Chapter 7:  
Present Day:

Dr. Abney is working on her computer trying to find the right treatment for Eponine. She is completely stumped when it comes to this girl. She knows all there is to know on depression, but something about Eponine seems odd. The look in her eyes, the way she was dressed and her voice seemed strange to her. Dr. Abney has no idea what's going on inside this girl's mind and she's afraid she never will.

Her phone starts loudly ringing and it makes her jump. She doesn't recognize the number, but answers anyway.

"Hello," she answers quietly.

"Dr. Abney?" A man's voice rings through.

"Yes? Who's calling?"  
"This is Mr. Thenardier. You saw my daughter, Eponine today?" he says, sounding panicked.

"Yes, sir. What can I do for you?" She asks, grabbing her clipboard with Eponine's notes on it.

"Well, my daughter has locked herself in her room. She won't open the door and won't talk to us. Not that she really has before. Can you please tell me what happened today?" he asks. She looks down at her notes. CONFIDENTIALITY, it reads.

"I'm sorry, sir, but I can't do that. I promised Eponine that I would keep everything between her and I. She did tell me a lot today, but if I want to get her to trust me, I have to keep this confidential." She says, looking at the piece of paper in front of her.

"Wait, she talked to you?" he says, confused.

"Yes. Does she not talk at home?" she asks, getting her pen out.

"Not a lot. She'll maybe tell us what she wants for dinner, if she's going to eat. She stays up in her room all day. She never sees her friends anymore. She doesn't even talk to her sister, who she used to be best friends with." He says. He clearly sounds upset. Dr. Abney is frantically writing down what he says so she can better understand Eponine.

"What's your other daughter's name?" she asks.

"Azelma. She's 15 years old." He answered.

"And you said Eponine and Azelma were close?" she asked, writing every last bit of what he says onto her clipboard. Any of this could help her crack down whatever is going on in Eponine's head.

"They were almost inseparable. That's if she wasn't with the boys," he says. Dr. Abney could hear the smile in his voice.

"From the café, right?" she answers, trying to give him some inkling that Eponine really did open up to her.

"Ah, of course she told you about her boys. Well, she doesn't think of them as her friends now."

"Mr. Thenardier, can I ask you something?" she asks, putting her pen down.

"Yes, ma'am," he answers.

"How long has Eponine been dealing with this?"

"For about two years," he answers.

"So, why is this the first time you've done something about it?" she asks. Thenardier stays silent, obviously having no answer to that. She now understands some of what Eponine is going through. She doesn't think anybody is there for her.

"Mr. Thenardier, if you want my advice-"

"I do, I really do. I'm lost at this point," he cuts her off. She sighs.

"Leave Eponine alone for the rest of the night. She's going to come around. With therapy and the love and support of her family, she'll go back to normal. I have some things I have to take care of. Please, respect her space. That's all she wants right now. I'm seeing her again tomorrow and I will try my hardest to get more out of her." She promises. She hears him sigh.

"Thank you so much, doctor. You don't know how much we all appreciate this." He answers.

"Have a good night," she smiles and hangs up the phone.

She shuts her computer down and grabs her keys.

She locks the door behind her and puts up her closed sign on the outside of her building door. It's about time that she goes to find this ABC Café.


	9. Chapter 8

Lost:

Chapter 8:

Present Day:

Courfeyrac walks into the ABC Café and sees Grantaire with his head down on the table. He assumes he's been drinking.

"Hey, why are you here by yourself," Courfeyrac asks, walking over to him. Grantaire picks is head up and looks at Courfeyrac. There's no sign of alcohol on him, his eyes don't look bloodshot and he doesn't smell of anything.

"Eponine was here earlier. I was coming back to see if Enjolras was here since he hasn't been answering his phone. I walked in and Eponine was sitting right here. She was so upset and she wasn't listening to me. She got mad and ran out of the door. I just…what did we do? Why did she become like this?" he asks and puts his head back on the table. Courfeyrac sighs and sits down next to him. He puts his arm on his shoulder.

"Grantaire, we've tried everything. Now it's the therapist's job to take care of her. We just have to be there for her," he says. Grantaire picks his head up.

"I was there today, though. It did absolutely nothing. She thinks that nobody cares about her. I don't understand that when we're all here. We're always all here," he says. He rests his chin on his hands.

"We just have to let this all pan out. The therapist knows what she's doing. She's the best in town, remember?" Courfeyrac says with a smile, even though he's seriously worried about Eponine as well.

"Actually, I could use a little help," the boys turn around to see a tall, skinny woman standing at the door. They both jump out of their chairs and she makes her way to them.

"Hi, my name is Dr. Abney. I'm the therapist that's helping Eponine," she says and shakes both of their hands. "Neither of you would happen to be Marius, would you?"

"No, ma'am," Grantaire answers, "My name is Grantaire. This is Courfeyrac."

"Nice to meet you boys," she says and walks over to the table. She sits in a chair and the boys follow suit.

"Would you two mind if I asked you a couple of questions?" she asks, pulling out her clipboard.

"Wait, this isn't one of those sessions are they? Because we're fine," Courfeyrac says, looking at Grantaire.

"No, I want to know more about Eponine," she laughs. The boys sit back in the chairs and nod.

"Okay, how long have you known Eponine?" she asks. She looks at Grantaire to go first.

"Well, I've known her for about 5 years. That's when I moved here. I became really close with Enjolras, who is Marius' best friend. They introduced me to Eponine."

"I met her about 3 years ago when we all started hanging out here," Courfeyrac answers next.

"Okay, and when did you start to see a change in her behavior?"

"A year ago," Grantaire answers quickly. "Around Christmastime, actually, so maybe a year and a half ago? She was acting a little weird before that, but we just thought it was because she's a girl and she gets mood swings and stuff like that."

"She started getting really skinny and was wearing long-sleeved shirts, even in the summer time," Courfeyrac joins in. Dr. Abney scribbles notes down on her clipboard.

"Was she not eating?" she asks.

"Well, she would eat sometimes, but run straight to the bathroom afterwards." Courfeyrac answers.

"Does she have any problems at home?" Dr. Abney asks, reading from her clipboard.

"Not that we know of. But like we said, she hasn't talked to us in a year or so. She barely comes around here anymore, and this was where she was ALL the time," Courfeyrac says.

"She was here today," Grantaire blurts out. Dr. Abney looks up at him.

"She was here…when?"

"A few hours ago," he answers. "She was so upset. And she snapped at me and wouldn't talk to me and then ran out. I have no idea what to do anymore."

Dr. Abney puts her pen and clipboard into her bag. She knows that the one thing that's going to solve this is this Marius.

"Can you boys tell me where I can find Marius?" she asks. They look at each other.

"He usually comes early in the morning, around 8 or so. He's the one who keeps the key," Courfeyrac answers. She nods.

"Do you think he has any idea what's going on?"

"If anyone does it's him. He's been the closest with Eponine." Grantaire says, crossing his arms.

She picks up her bag. "Thank you. You really helped a lot," she says and walks towards the door.

"Um…Dr. Abney?" Grantaire says from behind her. She turns and smiles.

"Yes?"

"You're going to fix her, right?" he asks. He looks really concerned. She lets out a breath.

"I'm going to do everything I can."


	10. Chapter 9

Lost:

Chapter 9:

*Two Years Earlier*

Eponine was having a great time at the Christmas party with her friends. The best part about it was that she could forget about all the problems she had. She was able to pretend for one night that all these people truly cared about her.

It was getting late and she knew she had to get home. She hadn't been home all day, but didn't care. She was having too much fun. She grabbed her coat from the closet and started to walk out.

"Eponine!" she heard a female voice call her. That could only mean one thing…

"Hey, Cosette," Eponine answered, giving a friendly smile to the particularly perky girl.

"Where are you going? The party's not over yet?" Cosette sounded out of breath because she had been dancing for hours.

"I have to get home. I've been here all day and my parents are probably wondering where I am." She answered.

"Oh, well, it was really nice seeing you," Cosette said and pulled Eponine into a hug. Eponine didn't have any girlfriends, so this was weird for her. She hugged the guys a lot, but never the girls.

"Cosette," Eponine pulled away and looked at her, "do we know each other from somewhere?" Cosette narrowed her eyes at Eponine.

"You know, I was thinking the same thing. You just looked so familiar when I first saw you," she answered. Eponine searched back through her memories to see if she could see Cosette at all. Nothing popped up.  
"I don't know, maybe something will come to me," Eponine shook her head. Cosette let go and smiled.

"Well, if you think of anything, let me know!" She said. Eponine nodded and Cosette floated away back into Marius' arms. Marius pulled her into a kiss as they danced around. Eponine felt her heart sink. Not that Marius ever kissed her, but it was always Eponine that Marius danced with. Tonight? Marius didn't even say hi to her. She felt like she was being replaced by this girl.

Eponine walked home without saying a word to anyone. Seeing Cosette and Marius be all lovey dovey through her night off. When she walked up to her front door, she could hear her parents talking inside. Well, yelling actually. She quietly opened the door and tried to go upstairs without being noticed.  
"Eponine Thenardier. Where on earth have you been, young lady?" her father asks her, pulling on her arm and down the couple of stairs she had climbed. Eponine yelped quietly because he grabbed her where her scars were.

"I was hanging out with friends," she said, barely audible.

"On Christmas Day? Today was supposed to be a family day," her mom says, walking up behind her.

"Some family," Eponine said under her breath.

"Excuse me? What did you just say?" her dad said, getting in her face and squeezing harder on her arm. She squinted her eyes and tried to refrain from crying.

"I said, 'SOME FAMILY,' she answered loudly, getting back in his face.

"Eponine," her mother said. Eponine yanked her arm away from her dad.  
"You are not going anywhere until we talk about this!" Her dad yelled. Eponine turned to face him, tears streaming down her face.

"You're joking right? You've got to be kidding me. We need to talk about this? How about you and mom need to start working things out!" She shouted. She was getting angry, and nothing good ever came from her being angry. She was never able to control what she did or what she said.

Her dad glanced at her mom, who was crying as well.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," he said, looking down from her.

"Oh, really? You guys can't go five minutes without screaming at each other. Only God knows what you're actually mad about! You know that Azelma and Gav come to my room in the middle of the night because they can't stop thinking about it. Do you know what goes through our heads while you're screaming horrible obscenities at each other? It's not healthy! You guys are awful parents, you don't care about any of us!" she screamed, holding onto the railing.

"How dare you say that! We love you all very much!" Her mother yelled, walking over to her.

"If you cared about us, you wouldn't be like this. It's disgusting." She said. Her father walked up to the stair she was on and got in her face.

"You go to your room. And you stay in there. I don't want to see you for the rest of the night."

"Gladly!" she yelled and ran up the stairs.

She slammed her door shut and locked it immediately. She didn't even want Azelma or Gavroche coming in. She was hyperventilating and knew what was going to help her. She opened up her pencil case and took out her pocket knife. She lifted her dress so she could see the top of her thigh. There were about three or four markings on her thigh, but she needed to do this. It was the only thing that would make her feel better.

She made a clear line with the blade of her knife on her thigh. It was small, so even if someone did see it, she could fake it. She watched as her wound opened up, dropping the knife and sobbing her eyes out.

How much further could she go before all hope was lost?


	11. Chapter 10

Lost:

Chapter 10:

Present Day:

Marius is walking towards the ABC Café when he hears footsteps running up behind him.  
"Marius!" He hears Enjolras yell. He half turns before Enjolras has already caught up to him.

"Hey, what's up?" he asks Enjolras while reaching in his pocket for the key.

"Nothing, just decided to come with you this morning. I wanted to see if maybe…" Enjolras trails off. Marius knows exactly where he's going with this. He rolls his eyes and sighs.

"Eponine's not coming this morning. She hasn't been back here since Christmas a year and a half ago." Marius answers.

"I know, I just thought…I mean especially after she started therapy…maybe since this was her safe place-"

"I know," Marius cuts him off. He finds the key in his pocket and pulls it out, "but I don't think she wants to see anyone. Me especially." He says.

They walk up to the café when they see a woman standing at the door. She has a bag hanging off her shoulder and her arms crossed. Marius looks at Enjolras who is just as confused as he is.

"Hello, ma'am," Marius says as they approach her, "Can we help you?" he asks. She moves to the side so Marius can unlock the door.

"Are you Marius?" she asks. He turns from the door and narrows his eyes at her.

"How do you know my name?"

"My name is Dr. Abney. I'm the psychologist that's taking care of your friend, Eponine," she smiles and holds out her hand. He shakes it, still skeptical as to why she's here right now.

Enjolras pushes through Marius to get to Dr. Abney.

"Um, hi, Doctor. I'm Enjolras. I'm also a good friend of Eponine's," he says, sounding nervous to say the least. Dr. Abney smiles and shakes his hand. Marius pushes open the door and the three of them walk inside.

"So, Ep has talked about me?" Marius asks, closing the door behind him and following them up the stairs.

"Yes, yes she has. And that's why I'm here. Can I ask you a few questions?" she asks. Marius shows her the table that he usually sits at and pulls out her chair for her. She sits down, Marius next to her and Enjolras across.

"Okay, how long have you known Eponine?" she asks. Marius looks at Enjolras to start.

"I've known her for about 7 years or so. But I've only actually been friends with her for about 4. She was the coolest girl when I first met her. So sweet and so beautiful. She had the greatest personality, too." Enjolras says, thinking back to when Eponine was full of life. He sighs.

"Were you and Eponine ever together, Enjolras?" Dr. Abney asks. Enjolras looks down at his hands.

"No, never. She and I never had romantic feelings for each other."  
"You both didn't, or she didn't?" Dr. Abney asks, looking at Enjolras. She is waiting for him to look up, which he does eventually. Enjolras starts getting agitated.

"This is not going to turn into a therapy session for me. This is about Eponine," he states, looking her dead in the eye. Dr. Abney nods and turns to Marius.

"Alright, Marius, same question. How long have you known Eponine?"

"My entire life. I can't remember a time when I wasn't friends with Eponine, actually," he says. He laughs a little. "She and I used to go on little play dates together. And when we were supposed to be in bed, well, her parents would go out and party all night and I lived with my grandpa, so we'd sneak into her backyard. She had this tree house that was always our hideout. We would hang out there until we heard her parents' car pull into the driveway. We were together all day every day. It never got annoying and it was never hard being around her. We did that until about three years ago, when we discovered this place. We invited all of our friends here to hang out and that's what we do every day. Or, we used to. Nobody really comes here anymore." He says, looking down. He's obviously upset about this. Dr. Abney looks up at him.

"Is that because of Eponine?" she asks. He nods.

"It was about a year ago that she started changing. You know, she lost a lot of weight and she was barely talking to any of us. I found some…some tools in a pencil case in her bag." He says, looking at Enjolras. Enjolras buries his head in his hands.

"What was in the pencil case?" Dr. Abney asks, leaning into the table.

"Razors and scissors. I think she was cutting herself. I found scars on her arm one time, but I didn't think anything of it. I was a little concerned at first, but I knew it could've been anything. I should've said something to her. Now, she won't even talk to me. She doesn't look at me anymore. I've tried reaching out to her. I feel like I lost a part of me, you know. She's like a sister to me." he says.

"It's like she's not there anymore, huh?" Dr. Abney says.

Marius sighs and looks Dr. Abney in the eyes.

"I've always been afraid that she is going to commit suicide; that she's not going to be here anymore. But, honestly? It's like she's already dead."


	12. Chapter 11

Lost:

Chapter 11:

*One Year Earlier*

Marius frantically knocked on Eponine's front door. Her little brother, Gavroche answered.

"Hey, Marius," he said.

"Hey, Gav. Is your sister home?" Marius asked, looking inside the house.

"Eponine?" he asked. Marius forgot Eponine had another sister. He smiled and nodded.

"She's home, but she's locked in her room. She doesn't come out anymore." He said, looking down.

Marius nodded, understanding that that was where she was. She hadn't been to the café in months.

"Can I go up and see her?"

"You can try," a voice said from behind Gavroche. Azelma appeared in the doorway. Gavroche and Azelma looked almost identical. Eponine did look like the odd child out.

"Thanks, guys." Marius said and pushed through them. By the looks on their faces, he could tell there was something wrong. He had no idea what happened to Eponine. The last time he saw her was at Christmastime. She didn't even say goodbye to him when she left. Cosette said that she seemed fine, but he was still worried.

He got up to her room and lightly knocked on the door. "Eponine?" he stood outside of her door for about a minute until the door opened slowly.

"Marius?" Eponine asked, sounding confused. She looked like she hadn't slept in days. Her hair was matted down and her eyes were bloodshot. The bruises under eyes were so dark. She also looked like she lost about 20 pounds. And she was already incredibly skinny the last time he saw her.

"Ep?" he asked, trying not to sound too concerned.

"Hey, what are you doing here?"  
"What am I doing here?" He asked, pushing the door open and walking past her. She quickly shut the door and ran to his side. "I haven't seen my best friend in months and you're wondering why I'm here?"

Eponine looked away from him. She knew that she hadn't been around, but she didn't think that anybody actually noticed.

"I didn't know I was that important to you," she said, sitting on her bed.

"Eponine, what are you talking about? You and I have been best friends since before I can remember." He said, sitting next to her. She scooted away from him and said nothing. Marius sighed.

"What happened, Ep? Why won't you talk to me?" he asked, trying to take her hand, but she kept pulling away.

"We aren't as close as we were before and you know that," she said, almost in a whisper.

"How can you say that?" He asked, sliding closer to her. He put his arm around her shoulders. She didn't pull away, but he could tell she was uncomfortable.

"Talk to me," he said, turning her face towards him. She sucked in a breath and immediately looked green. "Eponine?" Marius asked, getting worried.

"I…I don't feel so good!" she yelled and ran out of the door. She slammed it behind her and left Marius by himself. Marius dropped his head into his hands. He had absolutely no idea what was going on and he was worried beyond belief. He got up and started to pace; it was something he did when he was nervous. He walked over to her closet and saw her mirror shattered into pieces. He knelt down and looked closer. There was a bag sitting on top of the mirror. He picked it up and looked inside. All that was in there was a medium-sized pencil case. He slowly unzipped it and gasped when he saw what was in there.

A pair of scissors, two razors, a handful of needles, a piece of glass and a toothbrush. She was cutting herself? No, no. Marius tried to get those thoughts out of his mind. But she was across the hall in the bathroom throwing up. Maybe she's just sick. Maybe this isn't anything.

His phone started ringing and he jumped. He pulled out and picked it up before looking to see who it was.

"Hello?" he answered absent-mindedly.

"Marius," Enjolras' voice rang through his phone.

"Yeah?"

"What's up? Are you okay?" he asked, sensing something was wrong. Marius shoved the pencil case back into the bag and threw it in her closet.

"Have you talked to Eponine since Christmas?" Marius asked him. He heard Enjorlas sigh.

"Don't you think I would've told you?"

"True. I'm at her house right now?"

"You are?" Enjorlas asked, suddenly getting excited. "Wait, wait, wait, how is she? Is she okay? Why hasn't she been here? What has she been doing? Is everything okay? What has she been saying? Why is she-"

"Dude, stop!" Mairus shouted into the phone. "Will you stop with the third degree? I haven't gotten a full sentence out of her. She's in the bathroom throwing up right now. I think she's…I think she's hurting herself…" Marius trailed off.

"Hurting herself how?"

"I found a whole pencil case full of things depressed people use to cut themselves."

"Whoa, really?" Enjorlas asked.

"Yeah, what should I do?" Marius asked. He wanted answers and he wanted them now.

"Nothing. She gets really…ticked off when people start asking her about her problems. If this is something serious, she'll come to one of us. She always has and she will. I don't want her to go off on you like she did me. She's still mad at me for trying to get into her business. It could be something completely different than you're thinking. Let her work things out for herself. She'll be fine, okay?" Enjorlas finished.

"That makes sense. Okay, thanks, Enj," he said.

"No problem. See you later," Enjolras said and hung up the phone. Marius took a deep breath and walked to sit on her bed. Eponine pushed open the door and walked in. Marius looked up at her and smiled.

Maybe she was okay. Maybe he was just blowing things out of proportion. Maybe everything will go back to normal soon.


	13. Chapter 12

Lost:

Chapter 12:

Present Day:

Eponine looks at herself in the mirror. She is disgusted by what she sees.

"What happened to you? You used to have everything. You used to be so happy. Now look at you," she says to herself in the mirror. She's holding a small orange bottle in her hands.

She's been going to Dr. Abney for two weeks, and nothing has changed. She's been taking these stupid anxiety pills too. It hasn't helped yet.

"I don't know what to do," she says. She takes the bottle and throws it at the mirror. The bottle pops open and all the pills spill on the ground. She falls to the ground and starts crying. She scoops up all the pills and drops them in the toilet. She flushes them with no regrets whatsoever.

After drying her tears and composing herself, she makes her way downstairs so she can go to her next meeting with Dr. Abney. She's been the only one Eponine's opened up to in years. She doesn't hate her doctor. It feels like an escape, among other things she does to get away from her emotional pain.

She tries to get out of the house without anyone seeing her (which is how she usually goes about leaving), but something stops her. She hears her dad talking to someone. She walks over to the kitchen and hides in the doorway so he doesn't see her.

"Mr. Thenardier, please. What can I do to help?" she hears a girl with a higher voice ask her dad. It's definitely not her mom's, not that her mom's been home.

"I don't know. She won't talk to any of us. The only person she's been talking to is Dr. Abney," he answers.

"Well, duh. She is her therapist." The girl's voice sounds so familiar to Eponine. She can't put her finger on who it is, though.

"I know that, but…I'm lost at this point. I don't want to give up hope, but maybe…"

"No. We're not giving up. Maybe I should tell her-"

"Cosette, no. We can't put her over the edge. That'll put too much stress on her."

"Mr. Thenardier, she's going to have to find out eventually."

Cosette? Why is Cosette talking to my father? Eponine thinks to herself. Eponine slips into her hall closet to listen closer to them without them knowing she's there. Her mind is running a mile a minute. She can't put together why Cosette is there talking to her dad.

"Will you stop calling me Mr. Thenardier?" her dad says.

"What am I supposed to call you?" she asks.

"You know," Thenardier answers.

"I can't. Not unless I can tell Eponine."

"It's not a smart idea Cosette. I don't want her losing it all over again. If she finds out what we've been keeping from her, she'll be more confused than ever. And I'm not sure what that would do to her." Thenardier says.

"What are you so afraid of?" Cosette asks.

"I'm afraid that Eponine will never talk to me again." Eponine looks out the door and sees Thenardier sitting down and Cosette with her hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sure she'll be fine. She just needs to know."

Eponine couldn't take anymore. She slips back out of the closet and runs to the front door. She quietly opens it and walks out. She runs until she's a couple blocks away and sits down on the ground. She grabs her head and lets out a scream.

Why isn't anybody telling me anything?! She screams in her head. They all think of me as something worthless. They're acting like I'm not capable of anything. I'm so sick and tired of this. She sits for a couple more minutes, trying not to rip her hair out. She's so confused, so stressed out and so broken. She's afraid nothing's going to fix her. There is one question still stuck in her head.

What on earth were her dad and Cosette talking about?


	14. Chapter 13

Lost:

Chapter 13:

Present Day:

Enjolras sits in his apartment alone. The curtains are shut and the lights are off. He has one candle lit to have some light. He's hurting. He's hurting about Eponine. He knows that he could've saved her a year ago. He should've had Marius say something to her. He should've said something to her.

After his and Marius' talk with Dr. Abney, he started thinking. He was thinking about everything that has happened between him and Eponine. He misses her; a lot. He misses who she used to be, but who doesn't?

Eponine and Enjolras were never particularly close. Not as close as she and Marius. He always cared about her though. More than she ever did him, and he knows that. But even now, he would do anything for her. If she needed anything, he'd be there. A shoulder to cry on, a place to stay, someone to hang out with…it'd be him. He'd be the first. Marius isn't there for her because of Cosette, so Enjolras has to be there for her.

What's a guy in love supposed to do?

Enjolras has been in love with Eponine since the day he first saw her. As he got to know her, the feelings developed more and more. She never seemed interested in other guys, not even Marius. Enjolras was surprised by that since she spent all her time with Marius. He took it as a sign, though, that she and Marius were not meant to be together. And he was going to take every chance he had. But as soon as Eponine got sick, he started feeling something different. He was terrified. Terrified that he was going to lose her for good. And he knows that it'll be his fault.

He jumps when he hears a knock on his door. He walks over and answers it without checking the peephole. Grantaire and Marius are standing there.  
"What's going on in here?" Grantaire asks, stepping inside and looking around.  
"Don't tell me you're depressed, too." Marius says, following Grantaire. I shut the door behind them.

"Not funny, dude," Enjolras says and turns his kitchen light on. He sits at his counter and blows the candle out.

"Are you okay, Enj?" Grantaire asks, sitting next to him.

"I'm fine. What are you guys doing here?" he asks. He isn't meaning to sound harsh, he's just in a mood.

"We were coming to check on you. After our talk with Dr. Abney last week, you've been a little distant from all of us. And I'm…we're afraid that you're going to leave, too," Marius says from behind him. Enjolras sighs.

"No, I'm not leaving. I just needed a couple of days by myself."

"For what?" Marius asks. Enjolras turns to look at him.  
"Do you remember when you first thought something was wrong with Eponine?"

"Enjolras," Grantaire says, turning his shoulders back to him, "you can't keep beating yourself up about this. We're all hurting, but Eponine's going to come through. She always does. We have to just be there for her." Enjolras just stares at Grantaire.

How could Grantaire not agree with me? Enjolras thinks to himself. He's always on my side, even if he's the only one.

"Grantaire's right, Enj. Just, come on let's just try to forget about it for a little bit." Marius says, grabbing his arm. He immediately yanks it away and stands up. "Enj."

"No, Marius. You don't get it," Enjolras says, walking into his family room. Marius stops him by grabbing his arm again and turns him towards him.

"I don't get it? Are you being serious? I'm probably the only one who actually knows Eponine here. I'm most likely the only one who is actually really hurting from this," Marius says. He's get mad, but so is Enjolras. Enjolras just stares at Marius until he can't take it anymore.

"Yeah, but you're not the one who's in love with her," Enjolras says and yanks his arm away again. Grantaire turns around on his stool.

"You're what?" Enjolras sits down on his couch and sighs.  
"I'm in love with Eponine. And I'm terrified that I'll never get the chance to tell her," he says. Marius walks over and sits on the arm of the couch.

"We're going to get her back, Enj. I know it."

"Why didn't you tell us?" Grantaire asks, walking towards them.

"Because she was so angry at me for being the first one to realize something was wrong. I just…I wanted her so bad. I still want her. But she's so sick. How could I even be thinking about this?" Enjolras puts his head into his hands. Marius pats his back.

"We'll help you through this. But right now? We have to help Eponine."

"And how are we supposed to do that?" Enjolras asks.

"We just have to be there for her. Make her feel welcome again." Marius answers.  
"But she doesn't want to be a part of us anymore. How are you going to convince her?" Grantaire chimes in.

"Oh, I have a few ideas."


	15. Chapter 14

Lost:

Chapter 14:

Present Day:

"Cosette was in your house?" Dr. Abney says to Eponine. Eponine nods and looks at Dr. Abney.

"They're hiding something from me," Eponine answers. Her voice is deeper than usual and her eyes are dead. She has no life in her whatsoever.

"What do you think it could be?" Dr. Abney asks, wondering herself.

"I have no idea. I mean, my parents split up…but it would be too crazy to think of my father and Cosette having an affair."

"Is that the first thing that popped into your head when you saw them together?"

"Yes, ma'am," Eponine answers. Her eyes narrow at Dr. Abney. "Why is everybody acting weird towards me? Aren't they supposed to…you know, be cheering me up?"

"Well, they're not used to this kind of behavior from you. I've talked to some of your friends-"

"You talked to my friends?" Eponine cuts her off. Dr. Abney clears her throat.

"Yes, Eponine, I did. I talked to Enjorlas and Marius. And also Courfeyrac and Grantaire at the café you told me about," she answers lightly.

"You went to the café? Did you tell them what I've been telling you?" Eponine asks, getting angry.

"No, no of course not. I told them and your father that I-"

"You talked to my dad, too?!" She yells.

"Eponine, please stay calm. I didn't tell them anything that was going on in our sessions. It's not about them, it's about making you better. They're all very worried about you," Dr. Abney says. Eponine slowly sits back in her seat and crosses her arms.

"Sorry," she mumbles.  
"Now, you've known these boys for a while right?"

"Yeah. A long time."

"What about Cosette?"

"I met her two years ago," Eponine says, looking out the window, "It's when Marius fell head over heels for her. I just…I don't understand what he sees in her."

"Do you…?"

"No, if you're going to ask if I have feelings for him the answer is no. I just miss him."

"Okay, there we go!" Dr. Abney says, getting excited.

"What?" Eponine asks, confused.

"We're making progress. You've given me a real feeling for somebody. What else? What about the other boys?"

"Well, Courf and Grantaire are like my brothers. They're really nice and sweet," Eponine smiles thinking about her guys, "Marius is basically family to me. He's been around since before I can remember. And Enjolras…" she trails off.

"What about Enjolras?" Dr. Abney asks, trying not to seem impatient. Eponine lets out a breath.  
"Something with Enj always seemed different. I don't know, he looks at me differently than the other guys do. The other guys see me as 'one of the guys.' Enjolras sees me as Eponine. He sees me as me, and he always has."

"Do you think you could possibly have feelings for him?" Dr. Abney asks. Eponine smiles, but it quickly fades away.

"It wouldn't matter. I'm sure he's never thought of me in that way. I'm just Eponine."

"No, you're not. Maybe, that's where all of this is coming from. You're not secure with yourself. You're a beautiful girl, Eponine." Dr. Abney smiles at her. Eponine rolls her eyes.

"Okay, I know you're lying to me, now. I've seen what I look like in the mirror. It's not pretty." Dr. Abney sighs.

"Maybe you should talk to Enjolras. See if there's something there." Dr. Abney says, getting up to walk to her desk. Eponine follows behind her.

"Now, Eponine, you're still taking the medication I prescribed to you, right?" Dr. Abney asks. Eponine looks up at the ceiling.  
"Oh, yeah, of course."

"Good. If you don't take them you're going to have major mood swings since your body is used to them. They've calmed your anxiety I can see. So, make sure to keep taking them and get plenty of rest." Dr. Abney smiles at Eponine and hands her the paper with a synopsis of what they did during that session.  
Eponine looks at Dr. Abney with no emotion. Dr. Abney's smile fades and Eponine turns and walks out of the building.

What is she supposed to do now? The pills are all gone, and now she has to go and talk to Enjolras about her "feelings" for him. She doesn't even know what it feels like to be in love.

But she knows someone who does. She whips out her phone and dials a number quickly.  
"Eponine?" a voice answers at the end of the line.

"Hey, I need your help. Meet me at my house in 10?" Eponine says. Her voice is still hoarse, but she pushes through it.

"Yeah, yeah of course! I'll be right over, anything to help!" Cosette squeals through the phone.

Eponine's about to get the answers she deserves, no matter what it takes.


	16. Chapter 15

Lost:

Chapter 15:

Present Day:

"Eponine's on her way home, she wants me to come over to help her with something," Cosette says to Thenardier, grabbing her coat.

"Help with what?" Thenardier asks, grabbing Cosette's arm. Cosette looks up and smiles.

"I have no idea. But, if it has anything to do with her, you know you'll be the first to know." Thenardier lets her arm go and lets out a sigh of relief.

"Thank you," he says.

"Look, I'm going to have to tell her eventually," Cosette says looking up at him. He walks over and kisses her on her forehead.

"I know, sweetie. But, let's just do it together, okay? And not now. She's just going to be confused." Cosette slowly nods her head and walks into the hallway.

"Just tell Eponine I'm upstairs," she says and runs up the stairs.  
Thenardier sits down on a stool in his kitchen and hides his face in his hands. He hears the front door open slowly. He walks to the doorway and smiles at Eponine.  
"How was your session?" he asks. Eponine looks up and just stares at him.

"Ep, look, I know you don't like these, but it's the only thing that's going to get you better." He says. He puts a hand on her shoulder and she shrugs it off.

"I'm fine, dad. Don't worry about it," she says and starts for the stairs.

"Cosette's already up there waiting for you. Said you two had some stuff to do or something." He calls to her. Eponine stops in her tracks and remembers Cosette being at her house earlier talking to her dad. "Eponine, will you please talk to me?" her dad says from behind her. She lets out a breath and continues walking up the stairs. She hears her dad knock over a lamp. She can feel tears coming, but she hides them as best as she can; like how she has been for the past two years.

She makes her way into her room and shuts her door behind her. Cosette immediately gets up from her bed and runs to hug Eponine. Eponine loosely hugs her back and walks to her bed.

"So, what's up?" Cosette asks, following behind her.

"Are you okay? You seem…anxious," Eponine asks, narrowing her eyes at her. Cosette sits up, not expecting Eponine's voice to sound as old as it did.

"I…um…yes, I'm fine. How are you? Is everything working out for you? What did you want to talk about? You know I'm here for you for everything whenever you need it,"

"Cosette!" Eponine says, putting her hands on her head. "You're rambling and you're very, very loud."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Cosette says, lowering her voice.

"Okay, look, I was talking to Dr. Abney today-"

"You're therapist," Cosette interrupts.

"Yes, yes my therapist. And she has this crazy idea that I…." Eponine stops and laughs to herself, "That I like Enjolras." Cosette snaps her eyes to Eponine's and smiles widely.

"And?" Cosette asks excitedly, grabbing Eponine's hands.  
"And…I mean, I don't know. I've never actually liked someone before. I don't know what it feels like," she answers. Sadly, it's the complete truth.

"And that's why you called me," Cosette says, understanding why Eponine called her first.

"Yeah. I mean, you and Marius have been together for two years." Eponine says.

"Do you feel your stomach knot up when you think about him? Like you could throw up?" Cosette asks.

Eponine looks up at her. "Yeah, I do."

"And does everything remind you of him?" she asks. Eponine had to think about this one.

She has been…sick…for about two years. Whenever she'd get upset, before she went to cut herself, Enjolras would pop into her head. Every single time. But she never wanted to admit it, until now.

"You know, Enjolras and I haven't been close for a while. He and I kind of got into a fight a couple of years ago. We never made up though. I still think about him all the time, though."

"Every day?" Cosette asks.

"Every day," Eponine answers. Cosette jumps to her feet, pulling Eponine with her. Eponine feels something in the pit of her stomach, but it's not the butterflies from Enjolras. She feels sick. She can't remember the last time she ate and is dizzy like no other. Thankfully, Cosette's holding her up so she doesn't fall over.

"That's it, I'm calling Enjolras!" Cosette squeals and runs to her closet, leaving Eponine at her bed. Eponine sits back on the bed, holding her stomach.

"What are you doing?" Eponine asks and Cosette comes back with a long, red dress.

"Go get in the shower and put this on. Enjolras is going to die when he sees you. You'll be together in no time!" She says, pulling her back to her feet and pushing her out her door. Eponine slowly walks to the bathroom door. She opens it and locks it behind her. She throws the dress on the counter and looks at herself in the mirror. All she sees is ugly. How could Enjolras ever find her attractive?

"I'm disgusting," she says to herself. She opens her medicine cabinet and pulls out the empty pill bottle. All of a sudden, the room spins and she can't see straight anymore. She feels like she's going to throw up, but never makes it. She tries holding onto anything to hold her up, but she fails and falls to the ground with a loud thud. Her head hits the toilet seat and then the ground. She faintly hears footsteps running towards the bathroom. Cosette's voice rings through her ears, but she can't move. She slowly lifts her hand to the back of her head and find blood flowing out.

She glances at her dress, wishing she could be a different person one last time before her world goes black.


	17. Chapter 16

Lost:

Chapter 16:  
Present Day:

"So what's your plan exactly?" Enjolras asks Marius as they walk into Marius' house. Marius walks into the living room and sits on the couch.

"You know, this was the first place that I knew there was something wrong with Eponine. And I denied it. Oh, I tried so hard to deny it. But I couldn't, and I can't. And neither can you."

Enjolras sits next to him and sighs. "So, how does that help us now?" he asks. Marius laughs.

"The one thing that Ep needs right now is somebody to be there for her. And, I've been a lousy best friend to her. I was supposed to be there for her, but once Cosette came along…I couldn't see anybody but her. I unintentionally forgot about Eponine. But, you? You two got into a little fight over two years ago. If you can show that you are going to be able to take care of her, she'll come running." Marius says. Enjolras look away and Marius puts his hand on his shoulder.

"Trust me, I know her," he says.

"I'm not sure you do," Enjolras says, standing up.

"Um, what does that mean?" Marius asks, confused.

"Well, none of us really know her anymore. None of us know what she's going through. I wish I did, I wish I knew exactly how to help her. I want her back to her normal self. I miss her when she was happy."

Marius scratches his head and stands up. "But, you still love her, don't you?" he asks.

"I do. I always have."

"Then why didn't you go after her before all of this?" Marius asks.

"Honestly?" Enjolras asks and Marius nods. "I thought you were into her."

Marius laughs. Enjolras narrows his eyes at him and he sighs. "Okay, maybe I did like her. But, Eponine never liked me. And I'm not just saying that, I KNOW she only saw me as a brother. Which, now that's fine. But, you should've said something." Marius says and Enjolras nods.

"Well, I'm afraid it's too late." Enjolras says with his head down.  
"No, no, it's never too late. Eponine's not too far gone. I'm sure we'll be able to get her back and get you with her." Marius smiles and starts to walk away. He stops and turns to Enj again. "Where did Grant go?" he asks. Enjolras looks up.  
"He said that Courf needed something up at the Café. Were you not listening?" Enjolras asks, chuckling.

"Eh, do I ever? I was in planning mode." He laughs. "Hey, I'm going to go get something to drink. You want something?" Marius asks.

"Sure," Enj answers and Marius walks out. Enjolras looks around Marius' living room. He sees a couple pictures of him and Cosette and rolls his eyes. He finds one of him and Eponine going to a school dance together and laughs a little. Behind it, he sees a picture of Marius when he was about 5 or 6 with another little girl. She has brown hair and big brown eyes. Just like Eponine does now, except they were full of life back then. They were Eponine's eyes. He doesn't know whose eyes Eponine has now.

He hears Marius' phone ring in the kitchen.

"Hello?" Marius answers happily.

Cosette, Enjolras thinks to himself.

Enjolras hears a glass shatter and freezes.

"Marius?" he calls.

"Oh my God. Okay, okay, yeah, we'll be right there." Marius says and walks into the living room. Enjolras walks up to him. Marius has his eyes focused on something behind Enjolras. He's obviously in shock.

"What? What happened." Enjorlas asks, putting his hands on Marius' shoulders. Marius looks at Enjolras and gulps.

"Eponine fell in her bathroom and hit her head. She's at the hospital. She's um…she's in a coma."


	18. Chapter 17

Chapter 17:  
Lost:

Eponine is standing in front of a mirror in a white room. She's more confused than she is anything else. She has a white gown on, looking at herself. All she sees on herself are scars. Other than that, she's beautiful. Her hair is perfectly straight and pressed down on her shoulders and her brown eyes are back to life. Her skin is as smooth as a baby's and there are no bags under her eyes. She doesn't look sickly. Her body weight is back to normal. She looks perfect. Except for the scars. Down her arms and down her legs. She sees where she has hurt herself and it scares her. She turns from the mirror and walks around the room. It looks as if the room goes on forever. She can't find an end. It feels to her as if she's walking on clouds. She's never felt happier.

"Eponine," she hears from behind her. She turns around to see a little girl with short brown hair standing behind her. She's wearing a little blue bonnet and a smile on her face. Eponine looks down at her curiously.

"Do I know you?" Eponine asks the little girl. The little girl smiles softly and walks in front of her. Eponine walks after her without a second thought.

"Yes, Eponine, you do know me," the girl says. She turns her head slightly so Eponine can see her profile. Eponine gasps, realizing who she is.

"Oh my god, you're me? Okay…where am I?" Eponine turns around, starting to panic. The younger Eponine runs to her and grabs her arm.

"You're safe. And that's all that matters. The world is a bad place isn't it?" the little girl asks.

"You should know…you're me, right?"  
"Yeah. But you're the one living now. I'm just a memory." She says and Eponine sighs.

"Where am I? Why am I here?" Eponine asks again.

"You're in a place where you can feel better. A place where there is nobody but you. Isn't that what you wanted?" The girl asks confused. Eponine doesn't answer. This is all too much and she still doesn't know where she is.

"How's Marius?" the girl asks. Eponine snaps her eyes to her.

"Oh, right. I've been friends with Marius all my life," she smiles a little.

"Are you guys dating?" she asks. Eponine laughs.

"No. She has a girlfriend. We've never liked him in that way and he's never felt that way about us."

"You sure about that?" the little girl asks. Eponine turns around to look at her.

"Who exactly are you?" she asks, getting down to her level.

"I'm the part of you that's not alive anymore." The girl answers. "This is the part of you that everybody misses, Marius included."

"Marius doesn't miss me at all," Eponine snaps at her. She shakes her head.

"You don't think anybody cares about you. You are the most loved girl there is. And you know that. Why can't you believe that? Why can't you believe that you're special?" she asks.

"Eponine," Eponine hears a voice echo through the room. She looks up and sees nothing but white.

"Eponine, why can't you believe it?" she asks again.

"Eponine, can you hear me?" she hears the voice again.

"Oh god Eponine," she hears a guy say. Eponine steps back, still looking at the girl.

"Is that-?"

"Marius? Yes. There's another boy there too, but I'm not sure who he is," she answers.

"What are we going to do, Marius?" she faintly hears the other boy say.

"Enj," Eponine says. Suddenly, Eponine's head spins. She turns back towards the mirror and sees herself changing. Her body is sickly skinny and her face is whiter than usual. Her scars are growing and the bags under her eyes grow back. She feels a pounding in the back of her head. She turns to see the little girl walking backwards away from her.

"Wait," Eponine says. The little girl smiles and waves and the room goes black.


	19. Chapter 18

Lost:

Chapter 18:

Enjolras falls to his knees beside Eponine's bed as she opens her eyes. Tears flood his eyes and he lets a couple escape down his face. Eponine's eyes open fully after a minute and she looks around the room frantically.

"Hey, hey, there are those brown eyes," Enjolras says, brushing his hand against Eponine's face. She turns to look at him. She can barely force a smile and Enjolras' heart breaks. He knows she's in more pain than she's ever been and he doesn't know how to help her.

"How are you feeling?" Marius says from behind Enj. He comes over and puts his hand on her shoulder. Eponine looks up at him and tries to move her mouth to talk. She groans a little and then sighs.

"Hey, it's okay. You don't have to talk." Enjolras says, trying to hide his worry. Eponine manages a smile again.

"Ep, we're here for you. We're going to be here until you're all better," Cosette says. She's been crying and her perfect face is a puffier than usual.

"Enj," Marius says. Enjolras turns to look at him, "Let's go find her doctor. I'm sure they'll want to know she's awake," Enjolras nods and stands up.

"I'll be right back," Enjolras says. Eponine nods and looks at Cosette and her dad. Enjolras and Marius push open the door and walk down the hallway.

"Hey," Marius says, stopping Enjolras in the hallway.

"What?" Enjolras asks, looking confused.

"Are you okay? I've never seen you so distraught before in my life," he answers. Enjolras looks down and sighs.

"Are you not freaking out?" he asks. Marius looks him dead in the eyes. "Eponine could have died today. They said she's anorexic and that her head injury almost killed her."  
"But it didn't, okay? She's fine, Enjolras." He says and starts to walk away. Enjolras grabs his arm and pulls him back.

"Marius, why are you avoiding this?" Marius turns back to look at him. "Are you seriously not worried?"

"Enj, stop." Marius says. "This doesn't concern you."

"What doesn't concern me?" Enjolras asks. Marius rolls his eyes and starts again to walk away.

"Marius! Dude, you're the one who said you would help me. What am I not understanding?"  
Marius turns back again. He looks at Enjolras with such remorse. Enjolras is taken aback, not sure what to think. Marius walks up to him and opens his mouth to explain something.

"Enjolras, Marius," they hear a voice behind them. Enjolras turns around to see Dr. Abney behind him.

"Dr. Abney," Enjolras says.

"Have you seen her?" she asks. Marius sighs.

"I'm going to find the nurse," Marius says and walks away.

"Marius," Enjolras says, but Marius ignores him.

"What is going on?" Dr. Abney asks.

"I have no idea." Enjolras says, truthfully. Dr. Abney looks at him curiously, but looks away.

"What room is she in? Can I see her?" she asks. Enjolras nods and starts walking. He pushes open Eponine's door and walks in. The first person he sees is Cosette, who has tears in her eyes. She looks up and runs over to Enjolras as soon as she sees him. She hugs him and he holds her back, suddenly worried. He pulls away and holds her shoulders.  
"What's wrong?" he asks. Cosette wipes the tears from her face and points at Eponine. Eponine is back to sleep looking uncomfortable.

"What happened?" He asks, letting go of her and walking over to Eponine's bed.

"She…she…" Cosette tries to say but can't stop the sobs coming out. Dr. Abney quickly pulls Cosette into a hug and looks at Enjolras. Marius walks in then with the nurse. He looks directly at Enjolras after seeing Eponine.

"What happened?" he asks. Enjolras shrugs and they both look at Thenardier.

"She…um…she started talking. She…" he says, taking a breath. "She has no idea who any of us are. She doesn't know who she is."  
"What?" Marius and Enjolras say at the same time.

"She has amnesia."


	20. Chapter 19

Lost:  
Chapter 19:

Marius, Enjolras and Cosette visited the hospital every day Eponine was there. Enjolras was heartbroken. He felt so helpless. Cosette was a wreck every single time they walked into her room. She was a water works kind of girl. Thenardier was worried sick as he should be. The younger ones, Gav and Azelma didn't know what was going on. They had no idea Eponine was as bad as she was. Some of the Café boys came to visit every so often. Courfeyrac and Grantaire would sit by her bedside and tell stories of how they first met. They tried as hard as they could to be strong for her, and they knew they were failing.

But Marius? Marius seemed to feel nothing. It was as if all his emotions towards Eponine had disappeared. He would go into her room and just stare at her while the others tried to spark her memory. He would sit in the rocking chair in the corner of her room and wouldn't say a word.

Now, it's been a week since Eponine was admitted into the hospital and the doctors aren't ready to let her go.

"We're afraid she'll relapse," Eponine's nurse says to Thenardier and Marius. Marius looks up at Thenardier.

"How could she relapse? She has no memory of anything," he says firmly.

"Bringing her home could trigger too many memories at once. I know sometimes it's a good idea, but not for someone in Eponine's state." He says. Thenardier turns back to look at Eponine. She's talking with Gavroche and Azelma who are so desperately trying to get her to remember them. He turns back and sighs.

"Okay, what can we do?" he asks.

"Stay with her for as long as possible. She'll be better soon, we have the right medication in her, hopefully she'll respond well to it."  
"Hopefully?" Marius asks, suddenly concerned.

"There's a minor chance something could go wrong as there is with every medication. Believe me, we have the best medical staff here, we won't let anything happen to her, I promise. She'll be good as new," the nurse says, trying to ease Marius' nerves, but it doesn't work.

"When? When will she be good as new?" he asks impatiently. The nurse stops, not knowing exactly what to say to him.

"We're…um…we're not sure. It'll be soon, okay?" he says, patting Marius on the shoulder and walking out of the door. Marius looks up at Thenardier who is rubbing his eyes.

"Sir," Marius says. Thenardier snaps his eyes to Marius'. Marius notices the bags under his eyes. He looks as though he hasn't slept in days.

"I'm sorry, Marius. I wish this could all go away."

"Let me stay with her tonight," Marius blurts out. Thenardier widens his eyes, looking down on him. "You need some rest. Let me take care of her for the night, I've been doing it my whole life."

Thenardier chuckles and nods. "That sounds great. Azelma and Gavroche need me."

"Have you told her mom about this?" Marius whispers. Thenardier shakes his head.

"I haven't talked to her mom in 6 months, and I'm afraid that this," he points to Eponine, "is because of that." Marius sighs.  
"Eponine's going to be fine, sir," he says, putting his arm around his shoulders. Thenardier looks down and smiles at him.

"You're a great friend, Marius," he says and walks back to Eponine's bed. Marius stays still and looks at the ground. The doctor walks in behind him.

"Okay, it's time for Eponine to take her medicine." He says, holding up a bottle. Marius walks with him to her bed.

"Dr. Marcus," Thenardier starts, "Marius is staying with Eponine tonight, if that's alright." Dr. Marcus looks at Marius up and down.

"Is he family?" he asks. Thenardier smiles.

"Yes, of course." The doctor smiles and nods at Marius. He gives Eponine her medicine and tells everyone to say their goodbyes. Cosette quickly pecks Marius on the cheeks before she walks out with Enjolras. He walks over to the chair next to her bed and sits down.

"Hey," he says, grabbing her hand. She smiles.

"So, you're my brother?" she asks.

"Yeah, something like that," he smiles back, squeezing her hand. She groans and shifts her body position.

"You really don't remember me?" Marius asks. Eponine looks at him sadly and shakes her head.

"I'm really sorry, Marcus," she says. He sighs.

"It's Marius, Ep. Dr. Marcus is your doctor." She squeezes her eyes shut and lets out a breath.

"I'm sorry. Gosh, they said I was getting better," she says. He gets closer to her.

"You are getting better. It's my fault, really. I haven't been here for you as much as I should. It's hard," he says, standing up and pacing.

"You don't think it's hard for me? You guys are all on me about remembering little things that I probably wouldn't remember if I did have my memory. It's not fair to me to have you all hounding me." she says, getting upset. It reminds Marius of the old Eponine who wasn't afraid to speak her mind.

"So why don't you say something about it, then?" Marius asks, still pacing. He locks his hands and puts them behind his neck.

"I don't want to be rude." She says and he laughs.

"Nah, the old Eponine would tell them whatever was on her mind." She laughs. She stops suddenly, looking at him. "What?" he asks.

"You're…you're pacing." She says. He stops and nods, looking at her confused. "You pace when you're upset."

"Did you just figure that out?" he says, rubbing his head. He's at the verge of tears, but he's trying to hold it in like he has been all week.

"No…it's just…something flashed in my mind and I saw you…pacing in a house…" she says. Tears fill in his eyes and he sits down next to her.

"You remembered something about me," he says, smiling. Tears start falling down his face. Eponine smiles at him.  
"Yeah, I do. You're my best friend, aren't you?"

Marius, without a second thought, leans in and kisses her. And she doesn't hesitate to kiss back.


	21. Chapter 20

Lost:  
Chapter 20:

Eponine's mind is spinning. This kiss with Marius is something she feels like she's always wanted, but at the same time it feels so wrong.

"Stop it Eponine!" she yells in her head. Nothing is stopping her though. She doesn't even remember this boy, yet she can't help herself from what she's doing.

Marius slowly pulls away and smiles at her. Eponine is out of breath and she feels like she's going to have a panic attack. She can feel the medicine kicking in and she can't see straight.

"I…" she tries to say, but no words can come out. Marius smile fades.

"Did you not like it?" he asks, looking completely broken.

"No…I….what about your blonde friend?" she asks innocently.

"Enjolras? Oh, I didn't even think of him…"

"No…the girl, the one who's been in here with you ever day…crap what's her name?" Eponine searches her memory for the blonde girl. Marius throws his hand to his head and collapses on the chair.

"Cosette…crap," he says. "Eponine, you have to promise not to say a word about this."  
Eponine is taken aback. "Why?" Marius sighs and takes her hand.

"Cosette's my girlfriend. And this will kill her. Also, we can't tell Enjolras." Eponine looks around the room trying to stay calm.

"Hey, hey, it's okay," Marius says, holding on to her hand.

"Why…why can't we tell them? Why did you kiss me if you have a girlfriend? Why is this happening? Did I like you before? Did we have something before? What is going on?" she starts asking. Marius shushes her and strokes his hand through her hair.

"I kissed you because…because I used to have feelings for you, before I met Cosette. I don't think you've ever had feelings for me, though. We've always been like brother and sister. And we can't tell them because Cosette will either break up with me or kill me…or both, and Enjolras…well Enj has a crush on you." Eponine is surprised to hear this.

"Someone has a crush on me? I look awful, though."

"Gosh, Eponine, really? Is that what you think of yourself? What made you start thinking all of that?" he asks, but then remembers she can't remember a thing. "Sorry…I forgot." She laughs at the irony.

"Eponine, you're beautiful. Every guy you know thinks that. No one can ever tell you differently, and I hope no one ever has." He says, squeezing her hand. Eponine feels the room spinning and moves uncomfortably in her bed.

"Is the medicine kicking in?" he asks and she nods. He puts his hand behind her neck.

"Get some rest. They'll be back tomorrow to hound you with more questions. You have to be ready," he says and kisses her forehead. Eponine lets her eyes flutter shut.

After about a minute, Marius gets up and starts pacing. He's in trouble. BIG trouble. He just cheated on his girlfriend and kissed the girl his best friend is in love with.

What have I done? Marius thinks to himself.

The worst part is…he doesn't feel any regret to it.


	22. Chapter 21

Lost:

Chapter 21:

Eponine finds herself walking through her kitchen, hearing her parents arguing. This is the first time she's ever heard them fight.

"What do you want me to do?!" her father yells to her mother. The younger kids are out at their friend's houses, so it's only Eponine and her mom and dad in the house, which she is thankful for.

"Maybe start telling the truth for once!" her mom yells back.

"I just…I don't understand what you're talking about. Sweetie, you know I'm always honest with you," he says, walking up to her mom and taking her hands. Her mom quickly yanks them away.

"No, I don't. I don't know how to trust you anymore."

"Hey, guys," Eponine says, walking towards them. They both ignore her.

"Why not?" he asks. She sighs and sits at the counter.

"It's one thing after another. This is becoming a problem for everyone in the house now," she says.

"So, what? You're just going to leave because of her?" he asks.

"Because of who?" Eponine asks, but they still ignore her.

"I have no choice! She's not my problem!" her mom yells, standing up.

"So, she's mine?! How is that even fair? And she's NOT a problem," he says, getting defensive.  
"Mom! Dad! Who are you talking about?" Eponine asks, getting in the middle of them. They both seem to not even notice Eponine. She looks at her mom with confusion.

"She's been a problem our whole lives. And now she's here? What if Eponine finds out?" she asks him.

Eponine's eyes widen. She remembers something about her dad saying he didn't want her to find out about something.

"Can you guys hear me?" Eponine asks, waving her hand in front of her dad's face.

"Eponine won't find out," he answers, looking down.

"And there's where the lying comes back!" she yells. "Look, this isn't healthy for us. Cosette coming back here and now being a part of Marius' life…it's not going to be good for Eponine. And I don't want to be a part of the lies!"

"Cosette?" Eponine asks, mostly to herself.

"What do you want me to say?" he asks, sitting down on a stool.

"It's just…we can't stay together." She says. He looks up at her and a tear streams down his face.

"I made one mistake," he says. She sighs.

"It's a mistake that cost you your marriage." Her mom says and walks out of the room.

"Dad!" Eponine says, running over to him.

"No, no, no, dad. Tell me what's happening, look at me!" she says. Her dad doesn't even acknowledge that she's there.

"Marius, how am I supposed to tell her?" she hears Enjolras' voice from her living. She looks at her dad in utter confusion and walks to the living room. She sees Enjolras and Marius standing there.

"You just have to do it. Nothing is going to come out of this if you don't," Marius says, putting a hand on Enjolras' shoulder.

"Guys?" Eponine says, walking to them. They ignore her, too.

"I just…I like her a lot, man. I think I could love her." Enjolras says. Eponine realizes that nobody can hear her.

"What the hell is going on?" she says to herself.

"Eponine," she hears. She turns to see herself running up the stairs, her dad chasing after her.

"Where have you been?" he asks.

"Dad, it doesn't matter, just leave me alone!" She yells. He runs after her and grabs her arm.

"What is that?" he asks, looking at her scars.

"Nothing," she says, covering her arms.

"Eponine Thenardier, you better tell me what's going on right now!" He says, sternly. She tenses up and stays silent.

"What is going on with you, Ep?" he asks.

"Nothing!" She yells and runs up the stairs.

After watching this, Eponine falls back. Memories are flooding her. She looks and sees her mom walking out the door with her bags in her hands and her dad pleading her to stay. She sees Marius running around with Gavroche in their house, playing tag with him. She sees Cosette running downstairs screaming that Eponine had fallen in the bathroom. She sees her dad flying down the stairs with Eponine in his hands. She whips around when she feels someone tap her. It's the little girl from her dream.

"I remember," Eponine says. The little girl smiles and nods.

"It's time to wake up, Eponine. Can you hear me?" she says, over and over again. Her voice fades out and she slowly disappears.

Eponine slowly opens her eyes and she's back in her hospital bed. She looks up and sees the curly blonde headed boy standing over her.

"Hey, brown eyes," he smiles.

"Enj?" she says, croaky. Enjolras gasps and looks at her. A smile slowly comes to his face and tears fill his eyes.

"You remember me."


	23. Chapter 22

Lost:  
Chapter 22:

"What's going on?" Eponine asks, trying to sit up. "Where am I?" she looks around and sees her heart monitor sitting next to her, beating consistently.

"Hey, it's okay. Just lay down everything will be okay," he says, gently pushing her shoulders back.

"Enjolras, what am I doing in a hospital room?" she asks. She starts to panic and immediately looks for something sharp. She realizes she has a hair tie on her wrist and starts plucking it against her skin. That should hold her over for the time being.

Enjolras looks down and sees what she's doing. He puts his hand over her wrist and looks up at her.

"Ep, stop." Eponine slowly exhales the breath she was holding and sits back in her bed.

"Where is…"

"Everyone?" Enjolras answers for her. "Well, your dad and siblings are probably still asleep. Marius stayed with you last night and he's still asleep," he says, nodding over to Marius who's fast asleep in the chair. Something rushes through her and she can't put her finger on it.

"Are you okay?" Enjolras asks, noticing her discomfort.

"Why am I here?" Eponine asks.

"You collapsed in your bathroom. Ep, you haven't been eating. What's going on with you?" he asks, worry filling his eyes. Eponine sighs.

"I don't know. I just…I haven't been hungry for food, I guess," she says, looking away from him.

"Don't lie to me, Eponine." Enjolras says.

"It's not lying. I hate the way I am…I hate the way I was…I hate me."

"Why on earth would you hate yourself? Eponine, I don't know if you know this…but you're perfect." He smiles. She chuckles a little.  
"I was. I was the most perfect girl you guys knew. I had everything. Then…something happened. I don't remember when or how, but it just did. And I've never been the same."

"It was a couple months before Christmas. It was when Marius and Cosette first started dating, I think."

Enjolras answers. Eponine nods and shuts her eyes for a second. They snap open when she realizes what was going through her when she thought of Marius.

The kiss.

Eponine has never thought of Marius as more than a friend. But…did he? He's dating Cosette. He can't.

Now Eponine has a decision to make. Does she tell Enjolras about the kiss? Or does she keep it a secret?

"Ep, are you okay?" Enjolras asks, putting a hand behind her neck.

"Can you tell me something?" she asks. His eyes light and he smiles.

"Anything."

"How out of it was I yesterday?" she asks. He laughs.

"I've never seen you so out of it. And it wasn't just yesterday. You've been here for a week and a half. You've had amnesia ever since you woke up from your coma." He explains. Eponine lets out a sigh of relief.

"That means I can't get in trouble for it," she says. She means to say it to herself, but Enjolras hears it. His eyes widen and he looks confused.

"In trouble for what?" he asks.

"I…um…can you tell me something else?" she asks. He laughs again.

"Sure, Ep," he says smiling his beautifully white smile.

"Tell me a secret," she says, smiling. He lets out a breath and looks around. He looks at Marius, who is still out cold. He looks like he's contemplating what he wants to say before he lets out another breath.

"Eponine. You're perfect. And I love you. I love you a lot. I have for a very long time now…probably since I first met you. You're beautiful, you're funny, you're down to earth and you're a lot of fun. I don't know what or who I would be if I hadn't met you. You're a blessing in my life. You seriously light up every day of mine. I can't find any words to say how much I love you," he says, smiling. His voice is shaking the entire time and he's nervous as heck, but Eponine takes every word to heart.

He cares about me? she asks herself. Really cares?

Nobody ever has.

She looks up and sees Enjolras looking at her.

"Well…any day now," he says nervously. She laughs.

"Enjolras, I love you, too," she smiles. He lets out a sigh of relief and leans into her. She smiles as she leans in too, but stops herself. His smile fades and looks at her, really close to her face.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

"I have a secret, too," she says. He pulls away and looks at her curiously.

"Well?" he asks.

"I…I kissed Marius yesterday."


	24. Chapter 23

Lost:  
Chapter 23:

"You…you what?" Enjorlas says, pulling back and looking into Eponine's eye. Tears pool in her eyes.

"Enjolras, I'm so sorry…I didn't-"

"No, no, no. What do you have to be sorry for?" he asks, trying to hide the hurt from his face. She smiles a sad smile.

"I had no idea what I was doing," she answers. He takes her hand and sits on the edge of her bed.

"You didn't. Don't you dare ever say you're sorry. I won't hear it. You have nothing to be sorry for," he says and looks at Marius, "your friend over there…he's in trouble."

"I don't think I was supposed to tell you," she says. He snaps his head back to look at her.

"He told you not to tell me?" he asks, surprised. She grabs her head and groans.

"What, what's wrong?" he asks, getting worried. She chuckles and lays her head back onto her pillow.

"Things are flooding in my head too fast and it's giving me a headache." She says.

"So, you're starting to remember things?" he asks.

"All I remember is last night. Enj, I don't even remember why I'm here. I know because you told me…but I don't remember anything else. My life is a disaster."

"But it doesn't have to be! We can fix this. Eponine, you're stronger than you think. You can get through anything and I know you can get through this," he says. She smiles and looks into his eyes. Enjolras slowly leans in, knowing this is the right time to do it. He softly kisses Eponine on the lips and she kisses him right back. He's never felt more relieved and more happy than he is at this moment.

"Well, look at the love birds," they hear Marius says. They break apart and look over at him. He's still in his chair, but he's stretching now. A smile comes to his face when he sees Eponine. He winks at her. Eponine quickly turns away and hides her face.

"Good to see you awake, Ep. Are you okay?" He asks, getting out of his chair and sauntering over to her. Enjolras stands up to face him.

"Good to see _you_ awake, Marius."

"I figured you were gonna be here, dude. That's why I knew it was okay to get some sleep." He says, pushing past Enjolras to get to Eponine.

"I think we need to talk," Enjolras says, grabbing his arm.

"Enj," Eponine says, squeezing her eyes shut. He runs back over to her.

"What do you need?" He asks, putting his hands on her.

"I need you to stop. Don't do this now," she whispers. She pulls his hand up to her face and kisses it. He slowly nods and gets back up.

"What's up?" Marius asks. Enjolras sighs and shakes his head.

"Nothing. We can do this later. What's important right now is your best friend," he nods to Eponine.  
"Yeah, and your girlfriend, am I right?" He says, smirking. Enjolras hangs his head and laughs.

"Knock, knock," they hear at the door. Dr. Abney walks in. She has a cool façade, but they could tell something was wrong.

"Hey, Dr. Abney. What's up?" Eponine asks, trying to sit up.

"Oh, dear, don't worry about getting up. I need to talk to Marius and Enjolras, actually," she says, looking at the boys. Eponine looks at them.

"How do you guys know her?" she asks. Marius coughs and looks at Enjolras.

"Oh, we met her here…while you were sick and out of your mind," he laughs nervously. Enjolras puts his hand on his forehead and sighs. He walks out and Marius follows behind him.

"Boys, we have a problem." Dr. Abney says, shutting the door.

"Of course we do," Enjolras says.

"What is going on with you?" Marius asks, turning to Enjolras.

"It's not important right now, Marius. Just drop it." He answers.

"Gosh, you're not seriously going to do this right now, are you? Eponine's finally back and you're going to worry about your petty little problems? Seriously?" he asks. Enjolras turns to face him.

"You're the one who didn't care about this...what, a week ago? Why the sudden change in heart?" Enjolras asks, getting angry.

"Boys, seriously, stop. This is more important than whatever's going on with you two," Dr. Abney says, getting in between them.  
"And why do you think you can just meddle in our lives? Just because you're a therapist does not mean you know any of us." Enjolras says.

"Enj," Marius says, trying to stop him.

"Look, I'm sorry if it's coming off that way. But this is about Eponine's health. She could be in serious trouble."

Enjolras takes a step back and looks at her.

"Why?" he asks. Dr. Abney pulls out an empty orange pill bottle.

"A pill bottle?" Marius asks, looking at her curiously.  
"This was the medication I prescribed to Eponine. After doing further research, I realized that she was getting sick. After cutting herself so much, she started growing an infection. Instead of scaring her, I decided to prescribe her the pills so she would take them, thinking it was just a psychological thing." She starts. The boys look at each other.

"So, she finished her medicine? Is that a bad thing?" Enjolras asks.

"No, if she had finished these, she'd have OD'd by now. No, she threw these pills out somewhere. Down the toilet, down her drain, in the garbage can, somewhere. She hasn't been taking them. And I'm afraid it's messing with her head."  
"In what way?" Marius asks.

"Because she started the medicine, hasn't been eating and then stopped it so suddenly, it's starting to ware on her brain. If we don't do something fast…Eponine could die."


End file.
